My My, Hey Hey (Out of the Blue)

Music.  Hardly a day passes when I do not listen to the sweet tunes and melodies.  It has the power to transport you into the past, future, or some dreamlike dimension.  It can make you feel powerful emotions: sadness, fear, pain, grief, anger, love, peace, joy, comfort, and so many more.  There is music I listen to that takes me back to when I was a kid.  Some remind me of my Dad and even now I feel describe how I feel about our relationship now.  Timeless songs that meant one thing to me when I heard them when I was young and still mean something different to me now, but are still relevant even today.

I catch myself listening to Neil Young, Cat Stevens, and Jethro Tull.  These musicians and their songs make me think fondly of my Dad.  Memories surface of past times and even more recent memories.  One that profoundly I think describes the relationship I have with him is Old Man by Neil Young.

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Neil Young playing at Wembley Stadium in London 1974 with Crosby Stills Nash and Young

Old man, look at my life
24 and there’s so much more
Live alone in a paradise
That makes me think of two
Love lost, such a cost
Give me things that don’t get lost
Like a coin that won’t get tossed
Rolling home to you
Old man, take a look at my life
I’m a lot like you
I need someone to love me
The whole day through
Ah, one look in my eyes
And you can tell that’s true
Lullabies, look in your eyes
Run around the same old town
Doesn’t mean that much to me
To mean that much to you
I’ve been first and last
Look at how the time goes past
But I’m all alone at last
Rolling home to you
Old man, take a look at my life
I’m a lot like you
I need someone to love me
The whole day through
Ah, one look in my eyes
And you can tell that’s true

Words end up falling short.  Words set to music have the ability to say more than I could possibly express.  I feel in my bones that this song means so much more to me and how I feel about my Dad.  I feel now I am so much like him and just one look in my eyes that you can tell that’s true.

Then there is Cat Stevens.  His song Wild World was a favorite of mine when I was little and even now I feel so much more of what the song means to me.  Like I know the song is about a girl leaving him but to me it was me leaving my Dad.  We all must leave home eventually and I always felt like this song was his way of telling me he loves me and to be careful out in the world.

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Cat Stevens

But if you want to leave, take good care
Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there
Oh baby baby it’s a wild world
It’s hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh baby baby it’s a wild world
I’ll always remember you like a child, girl
You know I’ve seen a lot of what the world can do
And it’s breaking my heart in two
‘Cause I never want to see you sad girl
Don’t be a bad girl
But if you want to leave take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there’s a lot of bad and beware
Beware
I always felt like it was a warning…and I now know it’s impossible to get by just by a smile.  I now have seen what the world can and will do.  You can try to escape the bad but there always ends up being times when you can’t escape.  Friends and family turn on you.  Love is gained and lost.  People who mean the world to you will pass away.  You do the best you can to continue down the road called life.
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Nothing Gold Can Stay by Robert Frost in The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton

Nothing can stay in this world.  Everything passes away.  My advice is to spend as much time with the family and friends who stick by you when the going gets tough.  Learn to enjoy to down time.  Create something whether it be music, poetry, painting, knitting, crochet, or anything that brings you joy or pain.  You only have one life to live so give it all you’ve got.
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Wild Horses

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The former things have passed away

No one can understand the feelings I have

I sometimes don’t even know why I still do

It certainly hasn’t gotten me anywhere

Three little words that mean so much to me

Do they mean as much to you?

If they don’t, I will just not say them anymore

I’m tired of hurting and you said you would be there for me

Yet you are NEVER there ever

It’s just me, myself, and I

So I’ll continue on like I always have alone

If anything I have learned to stand for something

Or you will fall for anything…

I don’t think I can mean or say those words again to you

I’m moving on for me because it’s what is best for me

adieu

My name’s ‘Blurryface’ and I care what you think…

I wish I found some better sounds no one’s ever heard,
I wish I had a better voice that sang some better words,
I wish I found some chords in an order that is new,
I wish I didn’t have to rhyme every time I sang,

I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink,
But now I’m insecure and I care what people think.
My name’s ‘Blurryface’ and I care what you think

Wish we could turn back time, to the good ol’ days,
When our momma sang us to sleep but now we’re stressed out.

Sometimes a certain smell will take me back to when I was young,
How come I’m never able to identify where it’s coming from,
I’d make a candle out of it if I ever found it,
Try to sell it, never sell out of it, I’d probably only sell one,

It’d be to my brother, ‘cause we have the same nose,
Same clothes homegrown a stone’s throw from a creek we used to roam,
But it would remind us of when nothing really mattered,
Out of student loans and treehouse homes we all would take the latter.

My name’s ‘Blurryface’ and I care what you think

Wish we could turn back time, to the good ol’ days,
When our momma sang us to sleep but now we’re stressed out.

We used to play pretend, give each other different names,
We would build a rocket ship and then we’d fly it far away,
Used to dream of outer space but now they’re laughing at our face,
Saying, “wake up, you need to make money.”

Wish we could turn back time, to the good ol’ days,
When our momma sang us to sleep but now we’re stressed out.

When I came across this song… not only did the beat draw me in but it reminds me of a simpler time in life.  What if we could go back [in time] like that could ever happen?!

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In the immortal words of Wayne Campbell, “Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt.”

I was somewhat shocked as I was taking my niece and nephew somewhere recently that my niece  [age 10] knew this song.  She even sang along.  Little did I know, she probably heard it on the radio, but she knew the lyrics just as good as I do!  Although she might understand what the words mean… the meaning of the words to a soul with life experience is very different…at least I believe so.  I think all of us wish not to be stressed out.

When you get out on your own [and start your adventure in adulting] there are bills which if you want those paid you get a job… can we just go back to when we played with toys and friends.  Where are dreams were achievable and nothing could make us lose hope?  Music does that for us.  I think that is why is it so important.  I know the best remedy for me when I am stressed out is to either play my guitar or listen to music!  So pick your favorite musicians and jam to your hearts content and try not to be “stressed out”.  I will do the same.

#AlwaysKeepFighting #YouAreNotAlone #LoveYourselfFirst

Jeremiah 33:3

So this year I decided to learn how to play the guitar. One of the first songs I am trying to work on “Call unto me” by Phil Joel [used to be with the Newsboys] is based on this scripture…

Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come. Jeremiah 33:3 NLT

I wanted to share the lyrics for the song:

I can’t see the stars tonight
Clouds moving hold back the moonlight
You leave the crowd in sight
Time feels like it’s moving in slow motion
The question’s on your mind
Feel the air tonight
Something’s sturring inside
Do you feel it rising?

Call Unto Me and I will
Show you marvelous things
You would not know on your own
I hold the keys to your life
There’s so much to be shown
You’re not in this all alone

Don’t be so mistified
There’s no need to get complicated
Slow down your crazy ride
Breathe out the air you just breathed in
There are secrets to unfold
Visions to behold
About the here and now
Do you feel it rising?

Call Unto Me and I will
Show you marvelous things
You would not know on your own
I hold the keys to your life
There’s so much to be shown
You’re not in this all alone

So high
My thoughts are much higher than yours
My way is far better than yours
This way is far better

You say you wanna be safe not sorry
You say you’re done doing things the hard way
Can’t follow those feelings anymore
You’ve been trying to heal a heartbreak
But there’s still things need to be forgiven
Don’t wanna be lonely anymore

You say you really wanna run with freedom
Talk about your secret addictions
The silent treatment’s not working anymore

Call Unto Him and He will
Show you marvelous things
You would not know on your own
He holds the keys to your life
There’s so much to be shown
We’re not in this all alone

We’re not in this all alone

Call out / Call out

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This verse [and song] talks about having a conversation with Jesus. Ask for instruction and guidance. Learn about the marvelous things that only he can show you. Rely on Jesus. I think in our day and age we forget that we need help. We are a society of independent people. Showing that we need help is like being vulnerable and weak. Jesus wants you realize you can’t do it on your own and need his help. To pray to him for help. Read from the Bible. Have a relationship with Jesus. All relationships take time and effort. So why would we think we can have a relationship with Jesus and put forth no effort at all…? As a chosen one of Jesus let us live like these verses below describe:

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way. Colossians 3:12-17 MSG

Times Like These

I am a new day rising
I’m a brand new sky
To hang the stars upon tonight
I am a little divided
Do I stay or run away
And leave it all behind?
It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again

I honestly have always loved this song… when I have something on my mind I end up listening to it and getting lost in thought. It played today on my playlist and it was perfect timing to think of recent events. I think this song talks about new times in our life that come about… do we let the new things teach us and mold us into the people we are becoming? Or do we runaway scared of ourselves and leave behind the chance of something great happening or it could turn out not so hot… decisions to make every day. I have these moments where I feel like the things I am going through right then are awakening me to where I almost feel like I haven’t really been living but just going through the motions. It’s times like these that I feel like it says I am learning to live, give, and love again…. time and time again over the years.

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I have heard this song at different points in my life. “It was the best of times and it was the worst of times.” This one phrase seems to sum up almost every relationship I have ever been in… I have no happy ending to tell. I end up just trying to enjoy the time spent with whoever I end up with. For if my life has has shown me anything that change can be counted on and nothing stays the same time and time again. I have come to just expect it…

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I have come to the point where it’s like I have woken up out of a dream…to realize I am alive. I want more then what I have settled for a long time. I guess I have a few different things at this time to thank for this… I have a few things I want to do to get my plan into motion. I want to loose weight so I am healthier. This will no doubt have me needing to work out to accomplish this… I want to let my hair grow out again… I like it short but I feel like it looks better longer… I have almost finished school and I am proud of that. I have a habit of starting things but not finishing them. Maybe something I can change… like the photo above I will just start right here where I am and use what I have to do what I can…

Like A Fool

I have one person I could totally dedicate this song too. For some reason though it seemed sometimes like you hated me not like you loved me and yet I stayed with you like a fool. I will never do that again. I made that promise to myself and I plan on keeping it. So as I look forward to many a journey not knowing where the road will lead… I find I am just looking forward to the journey! And if you are lonely and need a friend remember I have a seat right here next to me.

Adieu

God’s Not Dead

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I was there not but a few years back. I was in a life that had its ups and downs but was relatively smooth sailing. I would say it was good… even if a guy decided to be stupid and dump me there was always another guy not far down the road ready to take his place. Life just came pretty easy going. I did what I wanted. Worked and sometimes went to college. Lived with different guys. Had what I thought were good friends. Drank. Partied. Went to clubs. Loved house music and dancing. Played World of Warcraft and was antisocial for a while only talking to my friends in the game… Saw many popular bands in concert…some of my favorite ones were Sevendust and 10 Years…just to name a few. I didn’t really think about what I did, what I watched, how much I drank, or anything like that… it was when I found myself completely miserable time and time again that I realized all the angry music or all the hate for what others had done to me or what I had done to myself wasn’t enough anymore to get me through life… I liked this quote from the movie I saw tonight summed it up pretty well what had happened to me…

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It was my turning point when I ran so far but found out that I didn’t remember what I was running from anymore or where I was going was not where I wanted to end up… I hit what was rock bottom for me. I tried to think back to where I was the happiest in my past and came to the realization that it was at church… so I called up a friend. I was to meet her and try to come back to church. I came not once, but left, twice, and got scared and left again, but the third time I came to the second service. I was scared that people might ask me or judge me for being gone so many years. Yes…I was the prodigal son, the wayward soul, the younger sibling. I let my sin come between me and God (the Father). It didn’t feel like I needed to leave because I was comfortable there for such a long time. That is the biggest lie of them all. I am here to tell you it is a lie. Don’t listen! You have a God shaped hole in your heart that only He can fill… don’t get trapped in the nice jail that sin holds you captive in. It may look nice at certain times but in the long run it is a trap. You night think it is too late for you and that you can’t go back. I ran away from God for more than half my life…and no time is ever too late! Pray to God and believe in Jesus who died on the cross to save YOU! If you were the only one who ever messed up He still would have died to save you… yep that is how much he loves you and me! I came to know Jesus as my friend again. He is the best friend you can ever make… “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20.

It after all is your choice who you will follow. If you don’t decide to follow Jesus you still have chosen… not Him but to follow the devil and the king of lies. My prayer is that one day you will awaken like I did and realize that Jesus who loves you so much He died for you, even while you were still a sinner, wants you to stop listening to all the lies and follow Him!

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As water reflects the face,
    so one’s life reflects the heart. ~ Proverbs 27:19