(Pity) Party Central

Today I had one of those days from Chapter 11 knows as Stinkin’, Rotten, Horrible, No Good Day… I kept thinking if I could just go home and start over then it would maybe get better. Wouldn’t that be GREAT to have some space-time craft to go back in time and start days over? I think so and all my sci-fi and fantasy watching has made my dreams if only it were true… but that is not the case nor the #truth. I was at work and one of the first things I did was call my mom. It is her birthday today… and I wanted to see about taking her out to lunch. She shot me down because she rarely wants to do things with me… (I know this fact) but still it just HURT! So I tried getting up from my desk and walking to the back of our facility to cool off but I could just feel tears forming the more I tried to hold them back. Such is life… Then I have a few customers who are just difficult to deal with… I heard from 2 of them this morning right after my call to my mom. See how well I have (pity) party central right here at my desk from 9 am this morning until about 11 am. I even have these up at my desk to try to ward off bad days…


Still didn’t help me today. I am good at trying to do things on my own… you betcha. Then I started calling around to find someone to go to lunch with… found my best-friend’s mom and we went to lunch. Also got a lot of texts from other friends who were lifting me up! It wasn’t until about 10:30 in the midst of my (pity) party central that I noticed I hadn’t changed my calendar over. BOY when I read that is was like God had specifically made today’s topic for the bad day He knew I would have:

image(Pity) Party Central was officially over. I even shared today’s message with the friend who gave me the calendar and shared how it had made such an impact today! When I forget that God has my back he reminds me that I do not have to do this all alone. PTL!


#Peace within

God knew who I would become before my parents even thought of having me. God formed me in the womb. He choose me as a child of God before I was born. What a marvelous awe inspiring concept.

Jeremiah 1:5

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

Ecclesiastes 11:5

As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.
So on this journey sometimes I have not really loved myself as the person who was specially formed and created by God as one of His own. It has been when I was running away and trying to do life my way. It left me empty, sad, lost, lonely, depressed, and so much more. I had to realize that the old me didn’t realize the sacrifice that Jesus made for me personally. If I had been the only lost sheep He still would have come down to this earth and died on the cross. FOR ME! How could I not love, trust, have faith, and care about one who went through so much so I could be forgiven for all of my sins (1 John 1:9) and become a child of God through His sacrifice? When I do not love all of my which includes my overweight body how does that show faith in God’s plan? Well it doesn’t really show trust or faith in His promises in the Bible.
I don’t have to understand every thing God does but His peace which surpasses all understanding will guard my heart and my mind. When I struggle to be at #peace with my body or the storm raging around me I need to pray. I need to lean on bible promises like the one below which is a FAVORITE #bibleverse of mine…
Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
Isaiah 54:10
One person who might have had a problem with events that happened to him was Joseph. So many things happened to him and most of them were bad. 10 brothers who were jealous of his status as favorite son. Dreams that he told that made not only the jealous siblings more jealous but even his father thought something might be wrong with him. Mother who died giving birth to his little brother. Then when told to go check on the 10 jealous brothers by his father the same family members sell him to a traveling caravan. Drugged to Egypt and sold as a slave to Potiphar. Put over Potiphar’s whole house hold… Assaulted by Potiphar’s wife..then put in prison. Made overseer of the prison. Two prisoners come in and have dreams which are explained by Joseph (with God’s help). One is put to death in 3 days…just like the dream. One is brought back to his position but does he remember Joseph like he said he would? Um no not at all… Joseph stays in jail for another TWO YEARS. Then Pharaoh has dreams that no one can interpret for him. Then the ex-prisoner remembers Joseph. Pharaoh send for Joseph. Joseph tells Pharaoh what the dreams mean by telling him first it is not Joseph but God who will explain to Pharaoh what the dreams are about. Then Joseph goes ahead and tells Pharaoh that he should setup someone to make sure Egypt makes it through the years of famine.

His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble,

2 Peter 1:3-10

I have read this story so many times… what I keep seeing that astounds me. No complaining from Joseph at all is mentioned. Joseph had serious FAITH in God. I also kept seeing the phrase, “the LORD was with Joseph”. What if I consciously kept saying that phrase to myself… when bad things happen or good ones… “the LORD was with Carolyn”. What a difference that would make in my life and my struggles. All of my stress, my weight issues, my anger problem, family drama, and so much more would benefit from repeating that phrase. It would also fit the phrase I picked to work on from 2 Peter 1:3-10… PERSEVERANCE. I want to work on the ability to follow through with the issues I need to deal with and work on… I need perseverance to continue on with the journey and not give up so easily. (Which I happen to do quite easily most of the time). You see it is easy to keep saying yes to things but the Imagefollow up and finishing the project is where I am lacking. Like loosing weight for instance because I have done it before. I lost 25 pounds easy. Why can’t I do that now? I lack motivation to start what I need to do and I lack perseverance to finish the race. Our Bible study tonight was very motivational for me. One of the activities was to write a new plan for action of a way to get up and move… I shared my plan with you on the left as you can see… We were also then to right our name in the verse to make it personal. It sounds true to me that my flesh and heart may fail me and truth be told they have a few times before…BUT the good news (the hope you might say) is that GOD is the strength I need to keep going. Isn’t that the truth for us all? If we have faith in God’s promises (like the one I personalized) then we have the hope and peace that comes from putting all of our mistakes, failures, and problems in God’s hands. We can truly, “Let go, and Let God“.
I will call upon your name…
and keep my eyes above the waves
when oceans rise
my soul will rest
in your embrace
for I am yours
and you are mine.
your grace abounds
in deepest waters
your sovereign hand
will be my guide
where feet may fail
and fear surrounds me
you’ve never failed
and you won’t start now…
Words from the song Oceans (Where feet may fail) by Hillsong United that I shared at the first of this blog.
This song gives me #peace within.
May I continue to say, “the LORD was with Carolyn” all the days of my life…

Sweet Place of Breakthrough

1-peter-5-7I had some symptoms back in 2012 that had actually been happening for a few years before that… I rationalized it as thought my allergies were acting up and sometimes that maybe I was sick to my stomach. Finally I decided that something was wrong that I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. I ended up going to a GI doctor and had an endoscopy done. Discovered the cause of my problems was a hiatal hernia, GERD, and a very bad case of Acid Reflux. The doctor told me that it was getting worse because of how much I weighed. SO back then my first plan was to stop drinking cokes, then I cut out fried foods period, and lastly I started by working out (just moving along the best I could with a Zumba game I have on my Xbox 360 to walking on my apartment’s treadmill in their little gym) for 20 min every day except on Sabbath (Saturday my day of rest and worship). It really worked for me. I lost 25 pounds that time and got down to 160 pounds.

I wish I could say that I won that achievement and kept the pounds off… I have to say I didn’t. I now weight the most I ever have in my life. I think that if I can just get the motivation again like I had that I could get back under 200 pounds easy. If you see my motivation anywhere will you return it to me? I somehow lost it along the way and I really could use to have it back sometime soon. I do know that since I had this “personal victory” with loosing weight in the past I have faith in God and myself that I can do it again! One of the things we were asked to do in my online Bible study this week was make a list of excuses that we use to eat what we want… so I figured I would share some of them with you. (See below for my list)…

I have been doing good all week so I deserve to eat out this time.
I am so tired that I deserve to grab something quick to eat so I don’t have to cook.
I can really start eating better again tomorrow.

These really are just a few of the many ways I can rationalize the need to eat whatever it is that I have in front of me…
imageI have to say that I really love the verse of the week… 1 Peter 5:7-8 ~ Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ~


Anxiety 1. a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event of something with an uncertain outcome. (Synonyms: concern, apprehension, fear, angst, tension) I feel all of these feeling quite often and now that I have started this Bible study I have started to ask myself why??? I should as this very verse suggests “cast ALL my anxiety on him (Jesus)… why not only because the Bible tells me so but because when I tend to talk about things it is like I let out all the worry nervousness, concern, apprehension, angst, and tension I feel inside by talking about it. This verse alone tells me why I should pray about such things because Jesus himself CARES FOR ME!!! Plus unlike friends (now don’t get your feelings hurt my friends out there who maybe reading this) Jesus is never in the middle of something and needs to call me back later… or is too busy for me or would have to fit me into his schedule. SO why do I end up having to try and fit him into my busy schedule? Just some of the things that this bible study has me pondering recently… when I remember to pray more and read my Bible more it’s like receiving this:


So what I have learned now from week two is that the key to being #Empowered is to read the Bible, memorize scripture, and spend time in prayer. This week I am learning to be #Determined to let go of the excuses and take one step at a time. To take even my struggles to Jesus in prayer, to lean on the good friends I have, and to say to my worries that my God is bigger than them and they should be worried about what He will do to them… and to remember the saying (while at work especially) that “If this is the WORST THING that happens to me today, it’s still a pretty good day.” (Thanks to Lysa TerKeurst for that motivational phrase!)


Such a great memory verse!!!

Verse of the Week: Psalms 84:2


I have loved learning more about this verse and I think this will be my first memory verse to memorize to start back doing that again. I also looked up a blog about verse mapping. I had never done this before but thought the way it was presented was very cool. So I did my first verse this way using that tool and just meditating on what the verse meant to me. I will share what I ended up getting out of the verse in just a little bit. So basically this is how I mapped my verse. I used the one from our study… I then took out a notecard and wrote the verse out on the front of the card. I didn’t really take all day to figure out what this verse said to me but I could have… maybe next week I will do that… then I circled words that jumped out at me or I jotted down what spoke to me out of the verse. I found more then I had space for on my notecard to write in this one verse alone. Then I turned it over and wrote out a prayer to God about how I could use the things I learned from this verse from here on out in my life. Also if He would help me finish what I started (great at starting stuff and being all motivated then poof I hardly finish what I start…). So below see my picture of my verse mapping…


So by doing this and reading the verse quite a few times I ended up almost having it totally memorized which was the final plan for me to accomplish! Woo Hoo!  I had started memorizing scripture last year (see I started something and didn’t keep it going!!!) Now I plan to pick back up and make memorizing scripture a way of life. Along with picking back up my prayer journal. It is such an uplifting way to look back at answered prayers and see how you have changed along the way. It might help me get my prayer life back on track. Man if you read this you will think I am all outta shape with my spiritual life! I want to assure you that I have taken to heart my motto this year… “To know Christ, and to make Him known.”

So who is with me to memorize scripture with me this year?

Made to Crave


Looking forward to the start of this new bible study I am participating in… Made to Crave online with over 40,000 other women! So here is a little about why I decided to do this bible study. 1.) I want 2014 to be the year I come closer to Jesus. I came across this study being done by Proverbs 31 Ministries and I was like this is something I should get involved in!!! Was so excited so I texted some friends and found out at least 3 other people I knew are also doing this journey with me. So if you haven’t signed up take a look at the link I shared, pray about it, and come join me…

I wanted to share one of my favorite bible promises with you taken from Isaiah 54:10 (HCSB):

Though the mountains move
and the hills shake,
My love will not be removed from you
and My covenant of peace will not be shaken,”
says your compassionate Lord.

Whenever I am down or think I can’t go on I just repeat this verse to myself. Jesus loves me and always will be with me… even to the end of the age (Matt. 28:20). I also try to memorize scripture and my verses that I have chosen to be my prayer to God this 2014, to memorize them, and to put them into practice are below from Psalm 119:33-40 (HCSB).

Teach me, Lord, the meaning of Your statutes,
and I will always keep them.
Help me understand Your instruction,
and I will obey it
and follow it with all my heart.
Help me stay on the path of Your commands,
for I take pleasure in it.
Turn my heart to Your decrees
and not to material gain.
Turn my eyes
from looking at what is worthless;
give me life in Your ways.
Confirm what You said to Your servant,
for it produces reverence for You.
Turn away the disgrace I dread;
indeed, Your judgments are good.
How I long for Your precepts!
Give me life through Your righteousness.

Do you have any bible promises that you just love and cling to? Do you have have any verses you plan to memorize this year and put into practice in your life? Please share them with me…

If you want to join in the fun of blogging along with the bible study just click the link on your left (Big Blue Circle)… I hope to see you there!